Revenge/Consequence

Remember when you were a kid and someone told you a story about how the family hamster had babies then ate their young? My first reaction was “how gross” then I remember my friends and I thinking how sad it was. How could a mother eat her own? Well, now I have children and it makes total sense. Don’t get me wrong, I love them dearly; however, there are days when, well, they are not really likeable. For those of you with older children, you’ve warned me for years that it only gets harder. For those of you with younger children, those folks are right.

In May we caved and bought our oldest daughter (middle school) a phone. We sheltered her for long enough and the day before she left for her first week-long, overnight camp, we surprised her with a phone. She is a fairly responsible kiddo and typically aims to please.

Fast forward to the day I found a mean text about her dear, sweet, precious, fun, mom. Yep, that’s me. (Please also note that while finding this text, I also found a wet bathing suit and a wet towel on her bed…need I say more?) Using my Love and Logic skills, I looked at her said “Aren’t you glad I don’t hate you like you apparently hate me?”. We briefly spoke about texting etiquette and I ended it with yet another fantastic Love and Logic line, “I will let you know about a consequence”.

Later that evening we took the kids to the Rome Braves baseball game. As we entered the stadium a couple Rome cheerleaders asked if I would be interested in playing a game on the field between innings. If you know me, you know there was absolutely ZERO hesitation. When they said I needed to pick my opponent, I got very giddy and with the biggest smile, I gladly gave her the name of my precious, preteen, painfully shy, daughter. The same daughter who, coincidently, wrote a nasty text to her friends about me. The same daughter who was warned about four hours earlier that I would let her know about a consequence. What a perfect bonding moment. What a perfect way to remind her how fun I am. What a perfect revenge, I mean consequence.

I am not sure what I enjoyed more, watching her beg her way out of it or beating her to the finish line. Either way, I am fairly certain that she will think twice before sending a nasty message about her mother again.

For this incident, this laughing mom of 3 got the final laugh. J

This likely captures the consequence at it's peak time.



Just Another Tuesday

"Keeli, you need to get it out of the intersection." This is the advice my husband gave me the morning my car broke down at 6:20 am, in the dark, in the rain, with all 3 kids in the car as we headed to school. Although I never have claimed to be a genius, I was actually able to derive this idea on my own. Thank you, Chris.

If you have read any of my other posts, you know how exciting mornings are at our house. This morning was no different. From what I can recall, the fights were minimal, there were enough Pop-Tarts to go around, and I found my keys right away. That should have been my first sign. Things were going all too well. About 5 miles away from the house, I noticed my temperature gauge was slowly moving to "H". Again, I'm no genius, but I knew something was about to go awry. I turned my heat on high (which blew cold air), said a quick prayer, and called Chris who is over an hour away. As he answers, the red light flashes, and a beep more obnoxious than an alarm clock start going. There was no where to pull over. No. Where. As I crested a hill, mid-intersection, the car dies. It is dark, raining, cold, and there I was. *This is where I had the idea that I needed to get out of the middle of the intersection.* I am not sure why or how it started going again, but I eventually made it to a parking lot where it still sits. I may or may not have hung up on Chris after his profound advice about the intersection, but at some point I called my mom and asked her to come get us. I knew she was headed out of town and wouldn't need her car. My plan worked perfectly. All 3 kids, arrived at their schools (3 different ones) on time. I was also able to take my mom home and manage to only be 5 minutes late for an off campus meeting.

I would have called AAA, but they already sent me a letter that said I maxed out my emergencies for the year. I am not kidding.

I ran and believe it or not, there was not anything or anyone chasing me.

12 months, 12 races, and 45 pounds lighter. Yep, I'm pretty damn proud.

I love this. :)

I have NO idea what came over me in December of 2011, but I had some type of psychotic episode; I signed up for my first 5K. My daughter, then 11, and my mom (60 something) joined me. I don't remember being nervous (I was probably more hungry than nervous), but it was bad. Not only did they pass me, they beat me by SEVERAL minutes. That was it. That was my motivation. That day I decided to set my 2012 New Years Resolution. I vowed to run a 5K a month in 2012. I am happy to say, I did it.

Now, with this being said, I still do not call myself a runner. I do enjoy it though. When I don't get to fit a run in, I miss it.

I have had several people send me emails, messages, etc. who want to know how I did it. Whether they are asking to make conversation, find motivation, or just curious...here it goes...

Before:
Sleighbells on the Square, Dec 2011: 48:39

After:
Sleighbells on the Square, Dec 2012: 35:12 (not too shabby)

Some are surprised to hear that I did not use C25K (Couch to 5K), but I didn't; I trained myself (and continue to do so). Running daily is nearly impossible for me. For starters, it is against the law to leave little ones home alone. Secondly, I've tried to run with them all on their bikes. Below is how that worked...

Before:



After:

Anyway, I use Endomondo Sports Tracker on my phone and log each run. I started with hiking. I would hike up a local (small) mountain and run down. After a few weeks I would hike half way up then run down a small trail. I actually still do that run quite a bit. I like it, too, because I can compare each run. As I stated above, I am not a runner. There is a ton of advice out there for people who run or who are interested in running. Some I have listened to, many I haven't. I do this for me. I am not aiming for the Olympics; however, on occasion I like to pretend that I am winning it. I am not aiming for a marathon. There is no "however" with that. Nothing about a marathon interests me. Nothing. I also have NO desire to run the Peachtree. A 10K in Atlanta in mid-July? Um, no.

My advice to anyone interested, just sign up for your first race. You haven't started training yet? WHO CARES! I assure you that there will be someone behind you in the race. Trust me.




Nancy and I at Celebrate America 5K. It looks like she
has a sombrero on her head. She doesn't, but it is perfect
because we enjoy GNO at La Parrilla.



My favorite race website is www.runningintheusa.com. Just find a race and sign up. If you hate it, at least you'll get a t-shirt.

One thing I did learn through this was that one
is better off eating pasta the night before a race rather than
GNO at the local mexican restaurant. I nearly lost my cookies
during this race.
Color Run Atlanta 2012



In June I did the Dallas Dash. It was hell.

In September, I did a race in rural (backwoods) SC.
It was great. Although I tell my kids that the "6" meant I placed 6th
it really only says "You ran a race in the backwoods of SC".



In November of this year, I talked BK into running the Turkey Trot
at my school. It was only a mile and she loved it. Just check out that grin!

Now you know how I did it. Nothing fancy. Nothing expensive. I feel good, I am a few sizes smaller, and every once in a while I get 20-30 minutes to myself. Bliss.

BTW, I am already signed up for my January race. I challenge you to do the same!



Here are some other answers to questions people have asked:

1. No. I do not buy expensive shoes. I buy what's on sale.

2. Yes. I listen to music. I have read a lot about how you "shouldn't", but I have never read where it killed anyone.

3. I may be guilty of speeding in my '06 Buick Rendezvous, but I am not burning the rubber off the soles of my tennis shoes. In January I ran the Polar Bear Run. According to my Edmundo Sports Tracker, I was running a 13 minute mile. In my 1 year running anniversary, the Sleighbells run, I averaged an 11 minute mile. Again, no speed records broken, but I did increase my speed, reduce my mile per minute, and endurance with each race.

4. For those of you asking about weight loss...I watch what I eat. Sometimes I watch it go right in, other times I have enough willpower to keep to one serving. If you know me well, I never turn down a trip to any restaurant that starts with "La" or "El".... *I will tell you that I didn't lose a pound for almost 4 months. I felt like my results would have been the same watching someone else run from the comfort of my couch, but I stuck to it.

5. I do not have a running partner. I have run with someone else twice...once was when I did the Color Run with my friend Lisa (see the photo above). The other was when my husband and I ran together. Never a good idea. Period.

Sign Language

Parenting is tricky. There are days you have to be creative, tell the occasional "white lie", and even pull the ol' "do as I say, not as I do"...Last week I had the opportunity to do all three in a matter of minutes (all before 6:45 am).

We were actually enjoying (relative) a nice ride to school when I realized one of the back car doors was not completely shut. I am not sure how I missed the glowing yellow light on my dash that said "door ajar", but I did and we will move on. Brylee Kate took the news fairly well and was prepared to open and close it at the next stop light. As we approached the light, it turned green. I told her not to worry, that I once I came to a stop, I would not move forward until she was able to shut it. She began to panic when the (impatient) gentleman behind me started honking his horn. I assured her that her safety was more important than him making the light and to open and close the door. His honking only became more frequent and my sweet southern patience vanished. Very dramatically, I pulled over, put on my flashers, shouted a word that I never use, and provided him with some additional signs indicating my disgust with him. My middle school daughter looked at me with amazement and said she had never seen nor heard me do that before. Initially, I was pleased with myself for being a model driver for her over the last 12 years; but then I felt some guilt because the other two would not share the same experience since I had just exposed them at such a young age. Brylee Kate shut her door then asked "never seen what before?" followed by Tucker's "what did you do mom?". This is where my creativity kicked in and my guilt then vanished. With a sweet southern smile (because clearly they didn't see it), I turned to them both and explained, "I just did sign language to the man that said I would be finished in just one minute." With that quick, creative response, Brylee Kate and Tucker will continue to think that I am the model driver that Allie thought I was until the morning of the "door incident". You may wonder if they asked what that sign was. They didn't. What they did ask is where I learned how to do sign language. With great pride I said "Mimi and Dramps" (my parents).

Just My Luck

"Ma'am, we are experiencing an extremely high call volume, it could be 90 minutes." Fantastic, I thought. I should be nice and friendly to your AAA man by 7:30pm sitting on the side of the road, with 3 children, after being up since 5:00 working all day, with what I thought was a popped front tire. "Thank you. We'll be here," was my actual response. I wanted to say so much more but with Random Acts of Kindness Day fast approaching, I decided to practice being kind. Besides, I really needed help and wasn't going anywhere without them.

That evening started with a great family picnic with my family, including my parents and sister. Chris left a few minutes early in his truck to go pick up the new bed for my youngest. Things were actually going pretty "June Cleaver" at this point. The first week of school was behind us, everyone loves their school, and we had just finished a fun family evening at the park. As we head home, I opt to take a more scenic route to avoid traffic. No one was fighting, we were talking about our day when.....POP! I had hit the same pothole my sitter did this summer when she popped her tire. As I pull over, I had to think who to call first...AAA, my dad, my husband, my sister, my best friend? I opted for my husband. I knew his ego would be crushed if he knew I called my dad first, but let's be honest, I really wanted to. Anyway, I followed marriage protocol and told my mechanically challenged husband. Since he was on a wild goose chase trying to find where he was to pick up the bed (I knew this would happen), he was delighted that I was willing to call AAA (and my Dad). I will not bore you with the details, but once we got the tire off, we realized that the tire was fine...it was the rim. Even better more expensive. As we (who am I kidding?..that would be Dad) got the spare on, we realized that it was (in fact) flat. About that time AAA arrived. Since my luck was getting better and better, I wasn't surprised to hear that his air compressor wasn't working at 100%. Eventually I arrived home to an irritable husband who didn't know which to be more upset about...the fact that the bed was way more difficult to put together than he had anticipated or the fact that we were going to have to spend a few hundred dollars on a new wheel. Where I pride myself with my ability to argue when I am the most exhausted, I (again) opted for the kinder approach and walked away. I cannot promise I didn't gesture anything as I turned the corner, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

If you are detail oriented, the side view mirror is from another incident for another post.

Just one quick picture before we take cover?

I couldn't resist it. Besides, how often do kids get the opportunity to have their picture taken with a tornado in the background? My guess is Olan Mills, The Picture People, and Sears do not have a tornado backdrop for formal family photos. I may have out done myself for this years Christmas family photo.

It was a beautiful summer day on Jekyll Island in South Georgia. We met up with some friends, who were also vacationing in the area, at Summer Waves. Chris had the older girls out and about in the park enjoying the "big kid" slides. My friend and I were talking gossiping about a little of this and a little of that while watching Tucker splash around in the kiddie area. Although a storm was imminent, we had yet to see a lightning strike, heard a clap of thunder, nor found any other reason to gather the troops and seek cover. Like many other parents enjoying a little sun time in a lounge chair, Lisa and I were praying that the storm would take a very sharp left (or right) and avoid the water park completely. *(There may have been a few parents panicking and fleeing the park; I can't remember.) As alarms sounded and warnings were being announced all over the park, I grabbed my phone and did it. I made them all stop and smile. I will also be honest and tell you, I took 2 pictures. They were not all looking the first time.

Coincidentally, the park has two rides called Nature's Revenge; one is the Hurricane and the other the Tornado. Had we encountered a hurricane, I doubt the picture would have been this clear since there would have likely been a lot of wind and rain ahead of the storm.

Mother's Day Tea

"The note that explains that each child should bring a lunch today, was put in his backpack on Tuesday." This was said by my son's preschool teacher in the company of 10 other mother's at the Mother's Day Tea. It was her response back when I thanked her for providing a lunch for Tucker. Defending my "choice" to not send a lunch, I tried to explain that I had intended on taking him out to lunch after the event. I then looked at another mom and commented that I wasn't quite sure where the book bag was. (Quite honestly, it is likely still wherever it landed on Tuesday.) The mom ever-so-politely looked at me, smiled, tilted her head, and said "If that is not enough food for him, I am sure my son will share part of his lunch."

Towards the end of the tea (which was precious), another parent asked if I was the mom who volunteered to plan the End of the Year party. I chuckled a bit and told her no. About 15 minutes later, Tucker's teacher thanked us all for coming, and told everyone that all the boys and girls were looking forward to the End of the Year party Tucker's mom was planning. Fantastic. In fact, I DID sign up for that. Apparently I signed up for this about the same time Chris and I were watching documentaries on the Apocalypse of 2012.


Update:

The morning started with Tucker telling me not to worry. He said they would not be singing "Sexy and I Know It" at the party because his teacher said no. I didn't really think it was important on how he knew this. I just said, "oh good."

One of the teachers was going to be waiting for me in the parking lot at 10:45. As I pulled in at 10:59, I was trying to decide if I should take the inevitable lecture for being late or be straight up and tell her that I had to explain to a child that the "f-bomb" is actually not a good way to defend yourself. Considering that Tucker attends a private church school, and she may not find the humor in the child's remark, I opted for the lecture. The lecture was short; likely short due to the fact that my tardiness took time away from the party, but short none the less. I took it like a champ. What she did explain was that had I told them a month ago what my plan was, we would not have to celebrate in the same grassy area that the farm animals enjoyed a few weeks ago. (Clearly I played off the "OMG, I signed up for what?" expression at the Mother's Day Tea. Which, mind you, was only last week.) In true Keeli fashion, I smiled, put down the picnic blankets, set up the table, and commented that hopefully the rain washed away whatever the farm animals left behind. As she walked away, I was tempted to "defend" myself (most certainly not in the same nature as the student did who caused me to be late), but I did decide to make myself a promise...I promised myself that I would never sign up for anything again without calling my best friend first (just to be sure I was in my right mind) AND celebrate that I was actually able to pull it off.

The party was a success. In his most precious lisp, Tucker said "that party was awesome!" That was all I needed.