Should I be Worried?

Confession: All three of my children have watched the show COPS since birth.

My first degree was in Criminal Justice and I spent a VERY short time working in an intensive probation (just short of prison) program. That "opportunity" came to a quick end when a very large man, three times my size, attempted to wrap his hands around my neck when I asked for a random drug test. Honestly, I don't even remember quitting, but I don't remember returning either. Anyway, I think COPS and JAILED fills that void in my professional life. Some days I honestly think, "wow, although not one of my better parenting decisions, it does model for them what not to do." Then there are the other days...


If you have had the opportunity to read my quotes page, you may have noticed BK's question regarding riding in the back of the police car with her one day. Well, this conversation came back up at my parent's last weekend. BK told my mom that "if she ever gets arrested, she will be sure to use her manners and use yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, and no sir." I am not sure whether I should be proud or worried.

PS... I promise you this...they have never seen the HO! HO! HO! episode.

Winging It

A couple years ago I was at a meeting where a parent asked me if I had any videos on parenting. (This may strike some of you as strange, but if you too worked in the public school system, you would know this is just another day in the life of an educator.) I politely smiled and said "No, I'm just winging it."

As I reflect on 2011, I have a litany of things I should probably do differently or, at best, tweak. My parenting skills make the top of this list. In 2012 I am considering conducting a head count before heading home for the day. There are 3 of them and for whatever reason, I tend to forget one or two from time to time. You may think I am kidding, but it is a weakness, I admit it. Only once have I gotten all the way home and realized I was short a kid. Sadly, it wasn't until the sitter called and said, "do you want me to feed her dinner tonight?". I tried to play off my oversight, but I am not sure she fell for it.

I am also going to try to be a little more observant when I am giving teacher gifts. As a former teacher myself, it is nice to receive a gift intended for me, not another teacher. My deepest apologies to 2 teachers this Christmas, as they were victims of this blunder. Again, with 3 kids, at least 2 teachers each, that is a little more organization than I tend to have on a day to day basis, but I will work on it.

Lastly, I am going to try to be more creative with dinner on the nights Chris is away. If you read the post about Allie and the toaster, you would know that I do not cook. As a matter of fact, I hate to cook. If I could build a house without a kitchen, I would, but I am afraid the resale value would not be as good. So, anyway, I will start small. "Creative" may be defined as a different route home, which would allow for eateries other than the standard McD's, Chick-fil-a, and Wendy's. I firmly believe this counts. I would love to commit to homemade dinners on those evenings, but I know my limits. That is not an attainable goal (for me).

For those of you who are concerned that these changes may limit the number of blog entries, please do not worry; remember, I am just "winging it".

Sybil

With a job that requires me to be at work by 7:00, 3 kids, and a husband who works 24 hour shifts, I am often asked, "How do you do it?".

I will tell you exactly how I "do it". I wake up 45 minutes before I am supposed to leave (*please note that it takes me about an hour to get ready). I take a shower then start waking the troops. Fortunately for my kids, I am a morning person; well, for about 5 minutes while I am singing a "Good Morning" song to wake them. Then some may describe my personality change, similar to Sybil (the 1976 film with Sally Field about a girl with dissociative identity disorder...a.k.a. multiple personalities).

I have to get them all up in a different manor. Although Allie says she doesn't like my singing, she will smile, and eventually get out of bed on her own. She will usually get up and start getting ready without too many reminders. On occasion, I will have to give her some verbal prompts to start the next task, but for all intents and purposes, she gets dressed without incident. The tears usually start about the time she begins fixing her hair. I never really know what brings the tears on, but I don't ever have time to figure that out. No one has ever died from crying, there is no blood, and in all honesty, I have too much to do to counsel a preteen at 5:45 am. Next, I wake BK. I often describe waking BK as walking into an angry lion's den. Luckily, I have never had to walk into a lion's den, but I have been to the zoo. Those big cats don't look happy and they have the same look in their eyes that BK does at 5:45. You have to start slow. First, you turn on the hallway light and walk away. About 5 minutes later, you turn on her closet light...I will not bore you with the details, but trust me, the 20 minute process is not long enough. We have all learned to stay out of her path. I have been known to toss her clothes in her general direction and run. Again, picture throwing a steak at one of those angry cats at the zoo. Zookeepers are not idiots, they do not stick around and watch them eat. Well, I am not an idiot either. Although we learned the hard way, we do keep our distance from her in the morning. Waking Tucker is my "first/then" reward. For my behavior friends...if I "first" wake BK, "then" I get to wake Tuck. So far, he is much like Allie. He is smiley and happy in the mornings and almost always tells me I am "the best mommy".

By the time they all 3 are up and getting ready, my 2nd personality will rear it's head. This personality does not include singing. She is usually reminding people of the time, explaining that we "should already be downstairs by now", asking why no shoes are on, etc.

As we start the descent downstairs, I usually have at least 2 in tears. This is when personality #3 comes out. Personality #3 is a screamer. She gets very upset if we are running late; which is almost always. She really does not know how to say "pick out your breakfast and get in the car" in an inside voice.

Personality #4 does not use nice language... She is always shouting how much she hates mornings, how no one listens to her, and how she is "over the fighting". She has also been known to shout an occasional "I wish your father had to do this every morning before work."

Eventually, we all get in the car and start on our way. About 2 out of 5 mornings, we don't make it out of the neighborhood without returning for a forgotten item. If this happens, usually personality #4 sticks around.

Once we are at the point of no return, either my main personality returns or a much sweeter personality comes out. The difference between my personality and the sweeter one, is that the sweet one will apologize for all the other personalities.

About 30 minutes later, we arrive at the sitter's house where all three get dropped off. Assuming we have not missed the bus and no one is anxious about school, they all typically get out with a smile, and I continue on my merry way to work.

Once I get to work, I usually realize that I am still jamming to Radio Disney...that is, unless we are listening to Red Solo Cup. :)

If you cannot relate to this, I want whatever you are taking.

Our last trip to Brusters

*This story is being shared by the request of my sister. I hope you enjoy Bruster's misfortune as much as she did/does.

"Um, mom, what was that?" That was the phrase that I will never forget. To this day, whenever I hear that phrase, I get a little tear in my eye and a huge grin on my face. That was the day that I mistook the landscaped curb for a straight-away in the Bruster's drive-thru.

One Friday afternoon, I wanted to treat (myself) my kids to a delicious bowl of Bruster's ice cream. To this day, I am still unsure as to whether Bruster's was closed or they were busy with walk-up customers, but no one ever took our order. That is when things went a little awry. For those of you who vertically challenged and drive a vehicle in the sport utility family, I am sure you can completely relate, but it is (at times) difficult to see over the hood. I am really not sure why I didn't stay in the drive-thru path, but I didn't. I went straight; straight over a curb and right over 2-3 full bushes. I wish I could say the bushes went right back up into the upright position, but they didn't. They were drug, and eventually dislocated themselves from the underside of my car in the car wash parking lot I entered when I made the "skip the drive-thru" decision. All that was left was a bush stump on the landscaped curb.

Like every MOTY, it initially crossed my mind to blame the kids for distracting me. However, since I was laughing uncontrollably (because this is something my mom would have done), I opted for the "uh-oh. I never saw those bushes." explanation. I pretty much left it at that, continued through the parking lot, and drove straight to Dairy Queen.

Family Photos

Taking Bowen family photos can suck the happiness out of just about anyone. I used to take medication for this, but over the years I have learned to accept the fact that either I pay a third party to take them or I just take the picture and move on. Besides, if I didn't, how would I be able to post these pictures? I am seriously considering a layout of out-takes for next years Christmas card.

I think you will find a pattern. Enjoy.


An attempt at this year's card (2011).

The happiest place on Earth...for most.

The North Georgia Fair

St. Simons

Ah, yes, an attempt at a Christmas picture in 2010.

A (surprise) family trip to Opryland Hotel in Nashville in 2010.

"Just Music"

After a minor (or major, it depends on who you ask) mental breakdown in the 6th grade, I attended 4 years of private school. I have to honestly say those were some of my favorite school years. Whether my memories include by BFF's Mary, Tia, and Nicole; receiving ISS for refusing to return to the paddle boat dock on our field trip to Stone Mountain; or receiving a lesson on "the burning bush" from the principal for screaming in the bathroom (*and denying it-please note that my friend Suzanne was giving him "the bird" throughout the entire lecture behind his desk). I loved every minute of my private school experience. With that being said, I will not forget the fact that many of my friends came to my house to listen to secular music because their parents did not allow them to listen to songs about drinking, smoking, etc. I remember thinking that was ridiculous and "it's just music".

Well, I wasn't thinking this is "just music" when Tucker had his first playdate this week. You see, Tucker's first playdate was with one of the sweetest, most innocent families in the entire world. He is one of 6 children, all of which are homeschooled, and have better manners than the employees at Chick-fil-a. After picking up 2 of the 6 children (one of the other children is Allie's best friend), we were headed back to our house when it happened...Red Solo Cup, by Toby Keith came on the radio. For those of you who are a bit classier than the Bowen's or do not listen to country music, please do yourself a favor and google the lyrics. I am fairly certain that when this song was written, it was not intended to be a 3 year old's favorite tune. It was like a dramatic slow motion movie when the very identifiable tune came on the radio. I tried my darndest (this was a made up word my mother used because she doesn't cuss a lot) to change the station, but it was too late. Not only did Tuck recognize the song, he asked for me to turn it up. Fantastic. I was caught between a 3 year old screaming tantrum in the presence of perfect children or just caving and letting it go. Well, like every MOTY, I just let it play. I let it play loud. Luckily it was the radio version and did not say "ass" or "testicles" like the version that my children know. The other important thing you should know is Tucker is only 3 and is not super articulate. When he does sing the I-tunes version, he cannot pronounce "testicles" and he has the most precious lisp, so "ass" sounds more like "ath". Anyway, there it was, my ah-ha moment. There in lies one of the reasons/examples as to why parents choose to protect their children from secular music.

Red Solo Cup continues to be a Bowen favorite; however from that playdate forward, I think I will stick to a children's CD when I am transporting other's children.

Toaster

Confession: I do not cook and I don't teach my girls to cook. My grandfather frequently reminds me that I was very lucky to find Chris because there are not many men who will marry a woman who doesn't cook. I tell my girls, if they want to learn, they need to take a class or ask a relative who does cook.

The one thing I clearly kept a secret was the art of toasting as I do know how to use a toaster. During the summer of 2010, I was out gardening (which is also hilarious), when Allie asked if she could make cheese toast. Either I answered with my standard "uh-hu" or was out of my right mind when I said "yes". About 15 minutes later, Allie came out crying that something went wrong. If you can't tell by this picture, Allie attempted to make cheese toast (cheese and all) in a stand up toaster. We no longer have a toaster, but you'll be happy to hear that she has now mastered the toaster oven.

Historical Bowen Moments

Ah, yes, the middle child. Brylee Kate (a.k.a. BK) is the most honest child we have. Most children are honest to an extent, but BK is not just honest, she is brutally honest. If she loves something, she will tell you. If she is not happy with something, she will tell you. If she is miserable, she will do everything in her power to ensure that misery has company. This picture captures the overall summary of our family bike ride at the beach during the summer of 2011.

Bowen Quotes

Initially I was going to call this "Kid Quotes", but I realized one of the more recent quotes was made by Chris, their father...

Background: Our middle daughter found a letter I wrote Chris shortly after we became engaged.
BK: Mom, what is engaged?
Chris: It is latin for "mistake".
**What was ironic about this incident was the fact that we were headed to the shooting range.

MOTY

This was one of my more recent fantastic parenting moments...We were out to dinner with the best neighbors anyone could ask for. Like every "Mother of the Year" candidate, I was enjoying every chip and dash of salt La Bamba had to offer while our children did whatever children do (between the 2 families, there were 5 children). My neighbor's youngest came up to the table to report that Tucker was crying in the bathroom. First, I had no idea they had gone to the bathroom, much less armed with tatoos. Again, like every MOTY, I sent my husband to check it out. Clearly Tucker was not pleased with what the girls had done to him. I, on the other hand, found it hilarious. If you look closely, I believe Chris actually shed a tear of happiness as well. No worries though, I (attempted) to give my girls the "mother look" when they returned to the table. They have not done it again, but then again, it has only been about a month.