Sybil

With a job that requires me to be at work by 7:00, 3 kids, and a husband who works 24 hour shifts, I am often asked, "How do you do it?".

I will tell you exactly how I "do it". I wake up 45 minutes before I am supposed to leave (*please note that it takes me about an hour to get ready). I take a shower then start waking the troops. Fortunately for my kids, I am a morning person; well, for about 5 minutes while I am singing a "Good Morning" song to wake them. Then some may describe my personality change, similar to Sybil (the 1976 film with Sally Field about a girl with dissociative identity disorder...a.k.a. multiple personalities).

I have to get them all up in a different manor. Although Allie says she doesn't like my singing, she will smile, and eventually get out of bed on her own. She will usually get up and start getting ready without too many reminders. On occasion, I will have to give her some verbal prompts to start the next task, but for all intents and purposes, she gets dressed without incident. The tears usually start about the time she begins fixing her hair. I never really know what brings the tears on, but I don't ever have time to figure that out. No one has ever died from crying, there is no blood, and in all honesty, I have too much to do to counsel a preteen at 5:45 am. Next, I wake BK. I often describe waking BK as walking into an angry lion's den. Luckily, I have never had to walk into a lion's den, but I have been to the zoo. Those big cats don't look happy and they have the same look in their eyes that BK does at 5:45. You have to start slow. First, you turn on the hallway light and walk away. About 5 minutes later, you turn on her closet light...I will not bore you with the details, but trust me, the 20 minute process is not long enough. We have all learned to stay out of her path. I have been known to toss her clothes in her general direction and run. Again, picture throwing a steak at one of those angry cats at the zoo. Zookeepers are not idiots, they do not stick around and watch them eat. Well, I am not an idiot either. Although we learned the hard way, we do keep our distance from her in the morning. Waking Tucker is my "first/then" reward. For my behavior friends...if I "first" wake BK, "then" I get to wake Tuck. So far, he is much like Allie. He is smiley and happy in the mornings and almost always tells me I am "the best mommy".

By the time they all 3 are up and getting ready, my 2nd personality will rear it's head. This personality does not include singing. She is usually reminding people of the time, explaining that we "should already be downstairs by now", asking why no shoes are on, etc.

As we start the descent downstairs, I usually have at least 2 in tears. This is when personality #3 comes out. Personality #3 is a screamer. She gets very upset if we are running late; which is almost always. She really does not know how to say "pick out your breakfast and get in the car" in an inside voice.

Personality #4 does not use nice language... She is always shouting how much she hates mornings, how no one listens to her, and how she is "over the fighting". She has also been known to shout an occasional "I wish your father had to do this every morning before work."

Eventually, we all get in the car and start on our way. About 2 out of 5 mornings, we don't make it out of the neighborhood without returning for a forgotten item. If this happens, usually personality #4 sticks around.

Once we are at the point of no return, either my main personality returns or a much sweeter personality comes out. The difference between my personality and the sweeter one, is that the sweet one will apologize for all the other personalities.

About 30 minutes later, we arrive at the sitter's house where all three get dropped off. Assuming we have not missed the bus and no one is anxious about school, they all typically get out with a smile, and I continue on my merry way to work.

Once I get to work, I usually realize that I am still jamming to Radio Disney...that is, unless we are listening to Red Solo Cup. :)

If you cannot relate to this, I want whatever you are taking.